Writer's Block

It has been more difficult for me to create posts for this blog than I expected. My school days give me a lot to reflect on. I think about individual kids and how they interact with school expectations. I think about the nature of school, its purpose, and how well my school is accomplishing it. I think about roadblocks, beaurocratic and practical, that make it more difficult for me to meet the needs of my students. I think about the nature of the job, and imagine how schools might be structured more effectively to support students, staff, families, and the general community. Imagining ideal situations, for kids, schools and myself, occupies my mind during my commute. I have had some pretty important experiences over the last two years. I have strong beliefs, and a lot to say. All of this gels in my mind as I drive home from school, and I look forward to sitting at my computer and writing it all down.

By the time I have boiled water for tea, changed into comfies, and powered up my computer, the thoughts have turned quite sticky. I self-consciously censor myself. Sometimes I think what I want to write would break confidentiality. Sometimes I think that what I want to write might rub my colleagues the wrong way. I am not yet bold enough to put my beliefs out there in writing, for criticism and debate. I am not ready to make political waves among my professional community, although there are times when I feel like waves are exactly what is needed. Sometimes the problem is simply that my mind is in a wandering mood, and I can't keep it on one topic long enough to draft anything worth sharing. Finally, sometimes I just don't feel like I have anything interesting to say.

So I ask my students to draft, revise, and criticise their writing week after week; yet I am unable to follow my own model. I encourage them to escape writers block by keeping their pencils moving. I point out that what they have to say is important to them, so it's interesting. I help them understand that learning to write takes a lot of time, and they shouldn't expect their work to be perfect the first time. I simply can't take my own advice.